The Moment I Learned To Advocate for the Strengths of My Twice Exceptional Son
Have you ever heard of “Twice Exceptional” or 2e for short?
It is a term that describes a child who is gifted and who also has a diagnosed disability.
I see this everyday in action with my own son who has trouble with reading, writing and spelling but can see the big picture of anything almost immediately. He also reads everyday by listening to audiobooks on 3x speed. (Something he has had to train his brain to do over the course of many years.)
Although I had done a great job advocating for my son and getting him what he needed, at some point I would need to focus that energy on advocating for his strengths too.
Audiobooks bring him so much joy and they have enabled him to have a very large vocabulary many levels ahead of his peers, but again, he is not so great at spelling or writing. He works hard at it and has completed a program called Take Flight. His hard work ethic, good attitude, and determination amaze me everyday.
I will never forget the day I walked into a meeting about his education and left with some of the most shocking and valuable advice. A very wise mother and professional who has extensive experience with 2e children spent time evaluating stacks and stacks of papers I had collected. This was a second opinion meeting to boot.
I expected to receive a list of resources and goals to hit and some validation on the path ahead. Instead, she looked at me and said that although I had done a great job advocating for my son and getting him what he needed, at some point I would need to focus that energy on advocating for his strengths too. I was speechless and she noticed! My type A personality had been hyper focused on getting through all of the checklists and talking to top professionals. I had neglected to develop his gifts and talents mainly because all of my time, energy, and resources had gone into the disabilities. Rookie mistake?
Talk about a wake up call. I had gone in expecting a pat on the back for my efforts but instead I was told my approach was all wrong. I am grateful for her candor.
Exploring both sides of disability and gifts can guide you to a balanced approach.
After the Wakeup Call – Now What?
There are many resources for parents of children who are 2e. A quick search on any platform will turn up professional listings, blogs, books, groups and articles. The tricky part is that by the time you find out what Twice Exceptional means you have likely endured some lengthy struggle. (See mine above.)
Schools are required to identify, evaluate and sometimes remediate but will this 2e child get into a gifted program? It is unlikely. Data shows that disabled individuals make up a tiny fraction of the students in gifted and talented programs.
Or what about the child who easily makes it into the gifted and talented program but for some reason can’t finish any assignment or is struggling in silence with anxiety? There are also those children who are able to hide their weaknesses by using creative strategies or personalized hacks. When their hacks don't work it is seen as laziness. This is exhausting for the child and on the surface you may see an average student. That child is anything but average but they may never see their true potential.
Yes, this means that 2e children start off in either special education, gifted and talented or general education. They are everywhere! And they grow up to be 2e adults who may be underemployed, leading a company, or just bored at work. They are everywhere as adults, too!
Synthesis has been a great fit for our 2e son. Synthesis is fast paced, fun and intellectually stimulating. It is a challenge and there is no grade. It is fun in a safe environment. It is a supplement to his educational needs.
Life and 2e!
Exploring both sides of disability and gifts can guide you to a balanced approach.
For us, Synthesis has been a great fit for our 2e son. Synthesis doesn’t require a lot of reading, writing, or spelling. Synthesis is fast paced, fun and intellectually stimulating. It is a challenge and there is no grade. It is fun in a safe environment. It is a supplement to his educational needs.
The school simply cannot do it all. I cannot do it all.
I am bridging the gap for my son with this program that is as unique as his educational profile. It is so exciting to think that we get to grow along with the company. Best of all is the growth I’ve seen in my son.
Editor’s note: We publish stories from our community. If you have a story you’d like to share, please email content@synthesis.is.
